Wednesday, February 8, 2012

New Website!

I’m very excited to share the news with you all that I will be launching a new website!

In true Love Addict fashion, the site will launch on Tuesday February 14th. All of your favorite posts will still be available on the new website. I’ll still be posting about my crazy and sometimes disastrous dating and mating encounters, as well as my views on love and life in general. Look forward to new podcasts, interviews with writers, experts, and entertainers who influence the way we look at relationships, as well as other features that cover every aspect of the single and not quite married lifestyle. Including where to go, what to do, and overall how to stay entertained and fulfilled until "the one" shows up.

You will definitely read something that will make you Say Waugh?!

If you are on Facebook, click on this link and press the LIKE button:

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Sh#! Single Girls Say... To Married Girls

My Facebook news feed has been filled with The YouTube parody videos posted by my friends that were made in response to the video Sh#! Girls Say. My absolute and obvious favorite is the Sh#! Single Girls Say parody.

There are a group of us single girls who are turning 30 very soon,  and all of our friends are engaged, married or popping out their first child. They made it out of the single forest and, they've been married for a decent amount of time. Since they are no longer single, it would only make sense to hope that they have some advice and answers; and my group has questions and some opinions on the matter. Here are just a few things Single Girls Say to Married Girls...

  • You're so lucky !
  • According to He's Just Not That Into You you are "the exception".  
  • How long did it take him to put on a ring on it?
  • If a guy cheats on me should I still stay with him?...He'll change when we get married right?
  • How did you get him to propose ?
  • Does your husband have a brother? I heard commitment runs in the family.  
  • You have the only good man left because these dudes out here...(insert screw face)
  • Does he make you cook all the time?
  • Do you really have to submit to him?
  • I'm okay with being single.I heard married people don't have sex!
  • If I could be a stay at home mom I'll get married tomorrow!
  • How did you find such a nice guy?
  • Did you know he was the one immediately?
  • Forget the justice of the peace I want a $80,000 David Tutera type wedding!
  • Do you get a bigger tax refund?
  • Girl you better stock up on cocoa butter... Men don't like stretch marks!
  • He proposed how?... That's sweet and all but I'm not saying yes unless he assembles a flash mob in Grand Central with my favorite singer on my microphone serenading me!
  • Why do men suck?
  • Why can't I find a man like yours?
  • How do you know he's not cheating on you right now?
  • Girl watch out. The minute these single girls see your man wearing his ring they're going after him!
Yes most of them are stupid, outrageous, are a result of straight up denial, flat out generalizations and silly preconceived notions about married life that keep most of us single. I'll admit to saying stupid things to my married friends in my quest to figure out the secret. The reality is whether happily or not they're married and they may be just as clueless as we are. The only difference is we are occupying our single time by writing blogs. No?  Okay maybe that's just me.

Check out the Sh#! Single Girls Say Video here

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

The Beginning

After having a meltdown because Dominos took two hours to deliver my pizza (my fridge is still empty), I turned to the one thing that would distract me from my hunger...twitter. I scrolled down my timeline and there was a request from another writer that I follow.  He said he needed fifteen women to let him know why they were single.

These days, I ask this question a lot about myself. In my most recent posts I've actually glorified my existence as a single woman. However, I don't want to be single forever. Though I am enjoying some long over due me time, sadly I must admit that I spend a good amount of it assessing the pros and cons of remaining off the market.

It was actually the second time I was asked this question during the day, though this time was rather indirectly.  The first time I was being asked by the friends of a guy I'm getting to know. I gave the "I don't want to rush into anything" answer. Though it was honest, I knew it was generic and that my response barely scratched the surface of the truth.

When I saw the question in my timeline I felt the answer rise and weaken my body, in a way that can only be dramatized as the moment someone has an epiphany  in the movies. With shaking hands I sent a direct message to his account. After I pressed send I realized I answered him this way because though I'm not certain that people actually read my tweets I wasn't ready to share my answer with everyone yet.  I was actually answering the question honestly for the first time for myself.

My response was:

To answer your question at the risk of making it seem like I'm bitter or have a lot of baggage...I'm single because experience has taught me that longevity doesn't equal loyalty, and trust means denial of all the warning signs. I'm honestly terrified of wasting any more time in a relationship that's going to go nowhere and actually make me bitter or lost forever.
A few moments after I sent my answer to the question the author on Twitter thanked me. I replied by thanking him because I finally had some clarity.

The same guy whose friends asked me why I am choosing to remain single, has showed me in some ways that he has the ability to give me the relationship I've dreamed of. If I allowed myself to rate him using my mental checklist, I'm sure that he would have a great score but for some reason, I just can't let him in.

Yes everybody gets hurt.  Of course if I ever want to have a great relationship I have to take the leap and actually be in one.  Like I said in my response to a total stranger about a question that has haunted me since I accepted my single status: I am absolutely terrified! I'm literally trying to suppress panic attacks being brought on simply by the thought of letting myself trust another person on level I have in the past.

For the first time in ten years of seriously dating the opposite sex, I feel like I have some control over my life. I'm not doing anything I don't want to do. All of my actions are to please me first. My grasp on myself though it's more grounded, is still on a new foundation. I'm simply not ready to let someone attempt to build on top of it because I'm  truly  afraid that they're just going to dig it all up.

This is officially my 100th post and ironically I feel like I'm only at the beginning.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Peanut Butter..No Jam: The Only Thing I Miss About Being in a Relationship

Ever since I moved out of my mothers house at 16 years old to go to college,  I have fed myself as a college student. In other words I lived off of frozen dinners and take out. As an adult, the pressure of being a good woman led me to have to do more than press buttons on a microwave. I had to make sure my man was fed.

Since apparently a man loves you with his stomach first, my fridge was always stocked when I was involved. It all starts with the fridge. I learned to always have his favorite snacks and drinks. I also had all of the right ingredients to make his favorite meals.

I had some unfortunate incidents in the beginning of my journey to a man's heart. I once thought all I had to do was throw some tuna on bread to make a tuna sandwich for one of my exes. I gave him the most soggiest, no mayonnaise having sandwich on the planet. He ate it though he still makes fun of me to this day. I also used to melt cheese slices on my macaroni to make macaroni and cheese dishes.

Since then I've gotten better. My last boyfriend was getting spoiled with crab legs, barbecue chicken, fettuccine Alfredo with shrimp  etc. He never died, and I was always full. My incentive to eat was that I wanted to take care of someone else.

So what do I miss the most about being in a relationship?

Answer: Having food in my fridge!

Though I'm single now, I may not be half a person without a man but I definitely have half of a pantry. For example, right now in my cupboards there are boxes upon boxes of pasta but I have no sauce.  In my fridge, there are two full tubs of butter but I have no bread. I have a full bottle of ketchup with no hot dogs. I have two bottles of wine and no cheese. You get my point.

When I was in a relationship, grocery shopping was a priority. We used to make a date out of it. Stealing kisses in the dairy aisle. Taking turns pushing the cart. Snuggling up in the frozen food aisle. Getting excited when we would see all the savings from our supermarket member card. We skipped to the car with all of our groceries like we were frolicking in a meadow. It was bliss.

I came home last night after a long day of work and a long night of working out, and I was famished. I realized the only things I ate all day were a bagel and a pack of sour power candy. I know for a fact that if I was in a relationship there would be some delicious leftovers in my fridge.

My fridge is naked! In my quiet apartment all you could hear was the hum of my fridge and the growl of my stomach.

Thank God for that hot pocket I found in the back of my freezer. It saved my life.

Actual Photo

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Love in a Cardboard Box

One day after work, and after paying a visit to my boo at Starbucks I enter the train station to head home. A guy approaches me requesting if he can ask me a question. I was in a good mood, and he seemed to have a valid inquiry so I stopped. He begins to ask me if I remember him. After looking at his face for a second he started to look familiar. He was handsome and well dressed. He had an artsy look to him which I'm a sucker for.

He then starts to try to jog my memory  by reminding me that I told him I had a boyfriend (I lied). I finished his sentence by recalling that his rebuttal was that having a boyfriend shouldn't stop me from having a social life which includes him. He seemed delighted that I remembered and then resumes asking me for my number which is exactly where we left off in our previous encounter. I still replied with a simple "no thank you".

He response is to inform me that after he met me the first time he had a conversation with God asking him to allow us to meet again. I laughed and then immediately called him out on his BS. He admits to lying and then asked for my number again. When I said no he reaches into his pocket for a piece of paper and a pen and he proceeds to write down his number. I take it hesitantly and make my way to the turnstile.

 When I put his number in my pocket I thought about the possibility of calling him. I was lectured on my Facebook wall a few weeks ago by some of my friends about not giving the random guys who approach me a chance.  I told myself that maybe he could be nice. He was definitely persistent. He was good looking and managed to make me laugh.

When I got closer to the the turnstile, one of the entrances was blocked by huge bags and knapsacks.  I thought it was strange and proceeded to swipe my card at the next turnstile. When I got to the other side I looked back to see the guy who just gave me his number talking to another woman. She was at least fifty years old.  I found it a bit odd until he raised his voice and said to her "c'mon you really can't spare any change?". I then noticed the empty hand trolley in his hand. It took me seconds to put the pieces together and realize that the bags blocking one of the turnstiles were his and that he was homeless.

To express how committed to the men I've loved in the past I told them that if we ever fell on hard times that I would never leave them. More specifically I said that if it came down to it "we'd live in a cardboard box together". I still feel this way. But a cardboard box would not be the ideal location for a first date ever!

And this my friends is why I don't give guys that I meet in the street my number.